one last death

In the past 6 months I have either reworked, rewired or simply killed off the parts of me that needed such things. I have recently realized one side of myself that is the last vestige of the things I do to trip myself up. an attraction to a certain type of situation that from this moment forward will cease to be. I must realize i do it, see it clearly early and avoid the traps i set for myself in this area. i only cheat myself by being anyone elses touchstone, stand-in, backup, go-to, support other than my own. I am very good at it, I can give out enough energy to light a city but it's a city I often build for others to run, cars I design that get driven by others and that will not continue to happen.